Fighting the Turd.

I have a daughter who is a one of the biggest sweet hearts I know.  She is also "champion of the picked on".  She will always stand up for other kids who are being teased or riddiculed even if it's behind their back.  Because she is a sweet heart and a very sensitive girl she gets her feeling hurt easily, which makes it difficult for her when she stands up for other kids.  Last night I picked her up from the sport she plays, and she came out of the building crying.  She was very upset.  I asked her what had happened and she told me a story full of injustice and drama.  The story in a nutshell is this, she stood up for a friend of hers who is on the team, and the girl who was saying mean things about her friend then started being "mean" to my daughter.  This is a very common theme by the way.  I am frustrated because many of the problems she has she brings on herself by defending other kids.  I dont want to tell her to stop defending others because I think that is a good trait to have, but at the same time when she does she ends up in a bad mood or in tears.  In a moment of inspriation it occured to me that I can use her experience to teach her an important lesson in life.  I called it fighting the turd. 
One issue she had yesterday was this other girl "cut" in front of my daughter in a line they were in.  My daughter of course started it up with this girl.  So I told her that her decision to fight about, (not a physical fight) or argue about it was hers to make, and that I wasn't going to tell her what to do.  But I did tell her that if she wanted to take on this girl, who we referred to as the "TURD", she needed to expect to get some poop on her.  In other words she cant expect to stand up for others or herself with out a backlash.  I have found that in life we need to pick our battles.  We need to decide if it is worth it to fight the bullys and protect the innocent.  I happen to like the fact that she stands up for others, and tries to help those in need.  But many times that isn't the the popular way to go, especially on the grade school playground.  I could see the light come on in her eyes.  It was the first time I have really felt like she understood and agreed with what I had said.  I think that I have helped her understand that if you are going to stand up for what is right instead of being a sheep in the crowd, someone will always disagree with you, and that is ok. 

That is all